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Raise the Titanic-what do you think?

Ancestral Homes Yes..

I’m tempted to tell you about my cousin's..
Super rich they were, the father ran the business they all worked for the dad, easy life.
Loads of cash, and always telling you about it.

My uncle’s died suddenly about 1997, very fat he was, it turned out his business was in huge debt and they lost the company. Still wealthy with moneys in a trust, but no way of earning a living, being all so thick, so it all started going down the tubes. My uncle said to me "I’ve got more money in my pockets here, than you’ll ever have, pulling out 25K and hitting me with it. I was about Ten.

I burned, I remember everything, I Can’t Forgive or Forget..

All my cousins had numerous marriages, two of them I’m really fond of, one the eldest is just like his dad, and has now hit rock bottom.Borrowed money from family, would not work, horribly fat, pompous as Philip, and now is living in a caravan in Hunstanton. Sorry Spike..
He was paid off to go away 50k out of the trust by his ex-wife, all agreed to it. Only met him once in 35 years at a funeral recently.After the paving with Ma yesterday, I said lets go and find Fatty in Hunny..

Now my Ma is very close and protective to her nephew being her sisters eldest. Aunty died this May.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence him moving up to Nor****, but have an idea why, my Ma and my inheritance are on his mind.
He’d already been to visit Ma that morn, with his story of Woe before I arrived.

Driving up there ma was saying, be nice to him, his Ma has died, imagine how you would feel !! LOL.
We popped into Tesco to get him groceries, the reason for his earlier visit no doubt, and a card for his new home.

Mum I says, The Fecker is 61 Years Old, I bet he'll be Pissed, sitting in his van asleep, with his Dick in his hand with a toilet roll stuck to it!! . " Ma wisely replied, Don’t judge other folk by your own base standards" a bit like the Queen, she is Don!!
No answer required, to that.
He saw us arrive through the window and darted about, I saw him mouth "Oh Feck Me" after a minute, he awkwardly squeezed his bulk through the van door and staggered down, Pissed as a wet fat, fart!!

He was so fat he limped , because his knee hurt, with the effort of the three steps down.
He shook Ma’s hand first, then mine, both us recoiling in pain, Ma has just had a Carpol Tunnel op. and my hands were sore from hard work. Not a good start then, the Drunken Twat, all my resentment boiling over, I told him, if you ever do that again, I’ll beat you bloody. If you want to arm wrestle warn folk!! I think he believed me!!

Ma went inside in a flap, I was left outside in disgrace, in the sun, so I removed my shirt and made the most of the evening.
I shouted "you don’t sun bath then" knowing the fat twat, would be like a beached whale, so probably didn't..
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It's too painful Dad for me and Pom,
You did mention my ancestral home, it's France!!

Google earth Dinard and look at the Statue of the Frog on a Horse on the prom it bears my name,
The surname spelling has changed a bit, but it means the same.

Something to do with William the Coconut!!

This enough about me. It's your special day today!!

What about the springer !!
Thanks Guys it makes me feel good knowing you is thinking about me..

My name say's it all.. Pom's about right as usual, clever boy!! Keith can get back to his inflatable fanny, he's so used too:cool:

How dare you! Do you have any idea how much latex costs?:D

And the strange looks I get down the pub when I treat her to a night out are a little unnerving, too!:eek:


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Wow you got the one with the Fred Dinenage app, yousa brave man. :-o

Nah, my Fiona has the wet & wild Nigella app & constantly updates itself so I can play hide the sausage with any woman I feel like at any time of day! I've already done those two hot ladies off Countdown, (Rachel Riley & Susie Dent) Sharon Stone, Belinda Carlisle & that sexy bird who works in my local newsagent. Gotta love modern technology, dontcha?;)